How I communicate: A pocket handbook
Since the dawn of time, communication between people has been vital for the exchange of ideas and information. The way we communicate between each other has generally evolved over time, but even beyond that, we all have our own unique preferences and communication styles.
Here I’m outlining my own preference and styles when it comes to communicating with people. This blog post is unique in that it’s more of a handbook of bullet points than an article. Do feel free to refer to it before or while reaching out to me!
General facts
- My name is Olivier (spelt with two i’s).
- My preferred pronouns are he / him, but I’m also okay with they / them.
- I currently live in the Eastern time zone (GMT-4 or GMT-5 depending on the season).
- When I’m not travelling, I’m generally awake between 8am and midnight local time.
- Though I love conversing with others, I’m more introverted and require time to recharge.
- I value honesty, curiosity, integrity, and kindness. This gets reflected in the way I communicate.
How to reach out
- If it’s the first time you’re reaching out to me, I prefer emails.
- For complex discussions or with lots of back-and-forths or decisions, I prefer a call (especially true if we’ve been talking for a while). Failing that, emails.
- For casual conversations post-introduction, I prefer chat (we can figure out a service that works for us).
- I’m a big proponent of no-hello and tend to ignore emails or chat requests that are devoid of context. Let me know what you want to talk about alongside your “hello”.
When to reach out
- Do feel empowered to send me an email or chat message at any hour of the day. I manage my own notifications well and can simply ignore them if I’m busy, so your messages won’t interrupt me.
- Generally I will assume the same for you unless you inform me otherwise.
- I may take upwards of 24 hours to respond depending on conditions (sleeping, at work, busy) but generally I get back as soon as I’m able to.
- I don’t necessarily expect the same turnaround time for others (but definitely appreciate it).
Communication style
- I prefer clear and direct communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
- In general I have a hard time reading between the lines. Be as specific as possible.
- I may ask a lot of questions when things are not perfectly clear on my end to make sure I don’t misinterpret you.
- Similarly, I’d prefer you don’t guess what I’m trying to convey. If you’re not sure, or if something I said seems ambiguous, let me know and I can clarify.
- Do feel empowered to “bother me” whenever you feel like it. I genuinely enjoy people reaching out.
- If I offer something (e.g. help), I genuinely mean it. I expect the same to hold true of what you offer me.
Disagreements & conflicts
- Disagreements can be healthy. I don’t expect us to agree on everything, and that’s okay.
- I often change my mind about topics when I receive new information that contradicts my previously held beliefs, as long as this new information comes from a source of trust.
- Ongoing feedback (positive and negative) made in good faith is always appreciated and welcome. Let me know if something I’m doing or saying could be better.
- I prefer having candid and sincere (rather than sugar coated or omitted) conversations about problems as soon as they occur, even if they’re difficult conversations to have.
Miscellaneous points
- If ever I hit you with a “oh you don’t know about ___?” it’s not meant to be condescending (I’m open to suggestions on how to word it differently). I’m genuinely excited that I get to be the one to tell you about something cool. You’re one of today’s lucky 10,000.
- If you get me to talk about a topic I’m passionate about, I will talk a lot. I don’t necessarily expect you to match my energy (but it’s always appreciated).
- Silence doesn’t necessarily mean anything more than that. I’m probably just thinking, or enjoying the silence. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to reach out, or don’t want you to keep talking.
- No, I don’t generally speak in bullet points with no emoji or nuance. It’s just for this blog post, I swear.
Do you have your own “handbook” on how you prefer communicating? If so do let me know, I would love to read it!